Posted: 6:19 p.m. Wednesday, Nov. 20, 2013
By Oscar Whiskey
In this edition, Oscar shares some in-game reactions, the nature of chance and some things to help us make it through the bye week.
Hello, Auburn Tiger fans. Yep, it's me, Oscar Whiskey, and that was some game, wasn't it? From the slow, controlled start to the fast-paced domination to the hard-fought stagnation to the terrifying collapse and near falling off into the depths of defeat to a finish that will be remembered for as long as we can. Pretty much everything about the game against UGA has been said at this point, so I'm just going to jump right on in and you're welcome to join.
Penn Wagers, doing exactly opposite regardless of the outcome— Philip Brozenkirchen (@theoscarwhiskey) November 16, 2013
This was the pass to Sammie Coates, my most admonished Tiger, that was caught, "fumbled" and then after much review ruled an incompletion. None of this should have been the least surprising because, when is anything Penn Wagers does not surprising?
All too easy /throws UGA into carbonite freezer— Philip Brozenkirchen (@theoscarwhiskey) November 16, 2013
Soon after the blocked field goal, Auburn's defense came up big in forcing Aaron Murray into throwing an interception. The Tigers' offense then came on the field, and in six plays Tre Mason dashed into the end zone untouched for a touchdown. When I saw that happen, the first thing that popped in my head was the scene from The Empire Strikes Back when Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are dueling, and after a few parries and slashes, Vader causes Luke to fall into the same device that was used on Han Solo earlier. Vader, unimpressed with Skywalker's performance, turns his back, uses the Force to flip the switch for the carbonite freezer and boasts, "All too easy." Because it was that easy and Auburn was set to run the Bulldogs right out of the stadium.
Welp, little did I know at the time, I found the perfect analogy to the game on Saturday, as even though Luke looked to be defeated, he managed to lunge out of the freezer and live to fight Darth for a little while longer. If you're wondering, yes, I am comparing Gus Malzahn to Darth Vader and am from now referring to him as the new Dark Lord of the Visor. You don't know the power of the spread-power-run-option!
I'm going to puke— Philip Brozenkirchen (@theoscarwhiskey) November 17, 2013
Right after Nick Marshall was sacked, setting up fourth-and-18, I looked down at the floor and could feel it. I have often in the past made this comment, but only as an exaggerated statement. I've never felt ill or woozy or nauseous from a moment like this in my life, but right then and there, I honestly thought I was going to vomit my dinner onto my living room floor. I almost wanted to as some sort of gastric catharsis, but I resolved myself and waited for what came next.
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD— Philip Brozenkirchen (@theoscarwhiskey) November 17, 2013
Marshall takes the snap, scans the field, steps up and lets go. My first thought was that he short stroked it and the ball wasn't going to make it to its intended target. The camera pulled out, and there, moving into the eventual landing zone of the ball, were two Bulldogs. I saw it. I knew what was coming. It was all going to be over. But what came out of my mouth, I'm certain weren't my own words, because if they were, then I have superpowers. I said out loud in a room by myself, and I promise you I am not making this up, "Tip it."
I jumped and I screamed and I stubbed my toe on my Ottoman, but I never took my eyes off the TV. It happened! It really happened! And best of all, I didn't upchuck meatloaf and mashed potatoes all over the carpet.
We all saw it happen. We've watched it over and over and over and over. We've watched it in almost every format in which it can be viewed. We've heard the different calls, voices and reactions to it. We can close our eyes and still see it happening in front of us. It happened, we know it did and for some reason, it seems so unbelievable.
It is an event in the wide world of sports that occurs so infrequently that we often create them in our mind. We dream about such moments from the time we are children and all the way into the weaning years of our lives. We continue to watch these games, one after another, in some desperate hope that one day, we too will be able to witness something so magnificent that we almost don't believe it happened. We wait and we wait and we watch great moments from years long past and we tell ourselves, "One day, I'll see something like that." We crave, desire and long for one, just one, such event in our lives.
However, one such tremendous moment filled to the brim with shared glory and wonderment is all predicated on one, simple thing.
We can do all we can to influence the outcome, but sometimes it is out of our hands. Just think about all of the factors or variables that could have changed the result of that play: Marshall short strokes it or puts too much oomph behind the ball; quick release of sudden perspiration lessens Marshall's grip on the football; a gust of wind from any direction changes the flight path of the ball ever so slightly; Louis steps on a bad, square inch of loose sod that slows him down or sends him tumbling to the turf; the football impacts Josh Harvey-Clemons and bounces in a way making it impossible for Louis to grab.
All these things and many more could have conceivably taken place. The difference between victory and defeat is seconds and inches. What happened out on that field wasn't destiny or #Blessed or Auburn Jesus Casserole Dish. Nope, what happened on that play is the result of one thing and this time, it just happened to work out in Auburn's favor.
After seven weeks of intense, exciting football, Auburn gets a brief respite before heading into what is sure to be the biggest Iron Bowl in recent history. If you're like me and always looking for something to keep yourself distracted from the "important" things in life -- like employment, family, friends, etc -- then here are a couple of suggestions:
Drinking Buddies - Official Trailer (HD) Olivia Wilde, Anna Kendrick (via joblomovienetwork)
This great, little film, featuring Olivia Wilde, Anna Kendrick, Jake Johnson and Ron Livingston, revolves around the simple subjects of life, love and beer. I know that after I watched it I said, "All I want to do now is work in a brewery and never fall in love." One of the best parts of this film is that all the dialogue is improvised, which almost sounds disastrous but ends up working out so well. At 90 minutes and a great soundtrack, this really is a must see.
"Dear Mr. Watterson"
Dear Mr. Watterson Official Trailer (HD) Calvin & Hobbes, Documentary (via joblomovienetwork)
Dear Mr. Watterson is a recently released documentary focusing on the beloved cartoon strip, Calvin and Hobbes, and the impact it had on so many people. As a child, I absolutely loved my Calvin and Hobbes books and in such a way that when my parents would ground me for whatever trouble I got in, they wouldn't confine me to my room or make me do yard work. Nope, my parents would take away those books and only give them back when I stopped being bad. And if you're wondering what any of this has to do with an Auburn football blog, come on, Calvin had a giant, imaginary tiger as a friend. How doesn't that have anything to do with Auburn?
Well, that's it from me this week, make sure to tune in next time, same Whiskey channel, same Whiskey time, College and Magnolia dot com.