Posted: 9:11 a.m. Thursday, Aug. 1, 2013
By Jorge De Los Gallos
EDITORS NOTE: Hi everyone. Do not be alarmed by the "Jorge De Los Gallos" byline. I am the writer formerly known as Gamecock'n'Balls. After more than a year of struggle, I've managed to get that sophomoric monicker laser-removed and replaced with an equally stupid but less crude and base pen name. Anyway, the Cockdown.
Sophomore Running Back
5'9", 215 LB
4 stars, 5th ranked RB in the 2012 class
Other offers: You name it. Florida, Florida State, Clemson, Tennessee, Georgia, Miami, Oklahoma, Penn State, etc. Was initially committed to Florida before decommitting in December of 2011. Committed to South Carolina on an official visit in January, 2013.
Davis saw action in all but one game in 2012, showing promise in bursts. He was actually tops in YPC among running backs. (Who led the Gamecocks in YPC in 2012? Fourth-string QB Andrew Clifford of course, who ran once for 11 yards.)
11 games played, 52 carries, 275 yards, 2 TDs, 4 receptions, 35 yards
I'm not tryna set any unfair expectations here, but Davis should ball out in '13. Like, he should be steamrolling bros and slashing through gaps and doing gainers over pylons and stiff-arming DBs into the Earth's mantle. Davis emerged from the spring as the starter at RB, and the coaches will have you believe he's primed for a huge year. Ball Coach doesn't just tout players to the national media for his health, ya know. Of course, we've all been made aware of the tentative approach to our RB situation: Davis and Brandon Wilds splitting time, their dovetailing strengths offering a balanced and varied running attack. But we also know that a.) Spurrier will go with the hot hand, and b.) the latter day, clock-control savvy Spurrier will run the Bejesus out of the ball if that's what it takes to win. By that logic, we must also recognize that the scales could tip towards Wilds if Davis is slow out of the gates.
Mike Davis was born on February 19, 1993—132 years to the day after serfdom was abolished in Russia. Wait, so you can just abolish serfdom? Like that? I kinda figured serfs were serfs because, you know, they existed in a socio-economical stratus. I mean it's certainly a novel thought, but can you just abolish being poor? Or being sad, for that matter? "My first act as king will be to abolish sadness! Also our new unit of currency is the high five!" [does two seconds of research] Oh ok so serfs were slaves.
Possible Todd Ellis play-by-play call:
Shotgun look. Connor takes the snap, he'll option it to Davis, who finds a lane, cuts towards the sideline, and he's loose! Mike Davis will NOT BE CAUGHT, and he takes it in for six! TOUCHDOWN, GAMECOCKS! I guess you could say he...Mike...uh...well, he's a Davis for...no, wait. That doesn't work. Oh...oh no. Mike Davis' name is creatively infertile. I have been vanquished, and per my contract am hereby exiled to my true home of Toddglaxion 4, an ice-planet on the outskirts of the Horsehead Nebula.
Farewell, Tommy. [pressbox trembles violently, dislodges from stadium, rockets into the heavens.]