Helping aging parents with a hoarding disorder requires recognizing it as a mental health condition and approaching the situation with compassion rather than conflict. Creating a safe living space starts with understanding the stages of hoarding and connecting your loved one with professional support.
As the Law Office of Edwin E. Lee reports, hoarding disorder affects more than 6% of people aged 65. If you're an adult child with parents who are hoarders, you will always feel trapped in a cycle of conflict and worry. You'll often feel heartbroken by your loved one's condition, ashamed of the clutter, and worried about their safety.
As a family, you'll want to create a safe space for your aging parents. However, you first need to recognize hoarding as a mental health condition. With enough knowledge, you can find compassionate hoarder help for your loved one.
What Is Hoarding Disorder?
Hoarding disorder happens when your loved one has difficulty letting go of possessions, so they end up saving them. Here are some types of hoarding your loved one may experience:
- Sentimental hoarding
- Animal hoarding
- Trash hoarding
- Digital hoarding
Your loved one may experience distress when throwing out items. Hoarding can make their house cramped and messy since you have to go through stacks of clutter. These mental health disorders may cause them harm unless you call in hoarding cleanup services.
What Is the Psychology Behind Hoarding?
The psychology of hoarding can help you manage your loved one's symptoms. Here are some psychological factors behind hoarding:
Emotional Attachment to Possessions
When your loved one develops an emotional attachment to their possessions, they can become a hoarder. They may associate their belongings with:
- Their identity
- Feelings of security
- Sentimental memories
Each object they own may represent parts of their relationship or pieces of their past they hold on to. These emotional connections make it hard to discard items, since letting go of things feels like losing a part of oneself.
Cognitive Falsehoods
Hoarding disorders may be due to distorted thinking patterns. Your loved one may have unrealistic beliefs about the value of items. For example, they may believe they will one day need these items.
Your loved one may also suffer from:
- Indecision
- Perfectionism
- Catastrophic thinking
- Fear of making the wrong choice
These issues complicate the process of discarding items. As a result, they may contribute to a lot of their hoarding behavior.
Fear of Making Mistakes and Anxiety
Anxiety is a key psychological factor of hoarding. If your loved one is dealing with hoarding, they may fear that throwing out an item may lead to regret. This fear comes from anxiety about making decisions and a hesitancy to take risks.
Low Self-Esteem and Depression
Reports from Science Direct show that more than a third of older populations worldwide suffer from depression. If your loved one is part of this number, they may hoard items as a coping mechanism for emotional pain.
Accumulating items tends to give them a temporary sense of comfort during hard times. However, the clutter they collect may increase feelings of sadness over time.
Seniors with low self-esteem may also experience extreme hoarding. They may feel inadequate and view their belongings as a source of their self-worth.
Trauma and Loss
Trauma and loss can lead to hoarding. For example, if your aging loved one has lost a spouse, they may start hoarding as a way of keeping memories alive. Hoarding often happens after traumatic events as a way to fill their emotional void.
How Can You Deal With Aging Parents Who Hoard?
Hoarding is a complex and challenging behavior. You can't simply go to your parents' house and start cleaning up. It won't resolve the underlying issues.
Here are ways you can approach hoarding treatment in a way that supports your loved one's well-being:
Know that Hoarding Is Treatable
Compulsive hoarding is treatable. You first have to understand that it's a mental health condition that happens because your loved one is emotionally attached to items.
You get to know that items mean more to them. As a result, you can approach the situation with empathy.
Consider Behavioral Health Assessment
If your loved one's hoarding disorder is intense, consider taking them for a behavioral health evaluation. This intervention will help you get rid of the issue at the root cause.
Get Ongoing Support
Hoarding is a chronic condition, and ongoing support ensures long-term success. Encourage your aging parents to continue with therapy. Also, follow up on their treatments to ensure a successful recovery.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does Hoarding Run in Families?
Yes, hoarding disorder can run in families. Individuals with a close family member who has the condition are more likely to develop it themselves.
Genetics is likely only one contributing factor, however. Environmental experiences, such as trauma or significant loss, can also play a role in the development of a hoarding habit.
What Therapy Is Best for Hoarding?
The most successful therapy for hoarding disorder is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This talk therapy allows your loved one to work closely with a trained therapist over time. During the process, they can address your loved one's thoughts, emotions, and behaviors linked to hoarding.
CBT helps them understand why they need to hold on to items. They also get training on decision-making skills as well as how to sort and discard items.
Relaxation techniques are also part of the therapy. However, CBT doesn't involve cleaning up your loved one's space.
What Is the First Stage of Hoarding?
If your loved one is at stage one of hoarding, you may not notice the symptoms. Their house may look well-organized with light clutter, no obvious odors, and all pathways accessible. Pet owners at this stage will not have animal waste lying around.
At this point, however, your loved one may have trouble discarding items and feel a strong urge to acquire more possessions.
Access Qualified Hoarding Treatment for Your Loved One
Approaching your aging parents about their hoarding disorder isn't an easy task. The condition has a lot of stigma attached to it, so you need to be careful. Ensure you approach your loved one with empathy and patience.
Explore more Jacksonville guides and local resources to stay informed and support your loved ones.
This article was prepared by an independent contributor and helps us continue to deliver quality news and information.